names that are awkward to say in bed

by: ashlee and arielle at 2am

john paul joseph senior (i dunno why you'd say his entire name in bed. ask arielle.)

lucas

pete

nathaniel

ed

arielle fell asleep.

this is a stupid blog.

i think i'm racist because i'm only finding darker skin to be immediately attractive at the moment.

wtf why is this guy talking to me? i ended things because i wanted to end them, not because i wanted to hear from you a month later.

it's not that i hold bitter feelings towards him. if i see him out and about, i might hit the gas though. impulses, yo.

ya know that awkward time when a romance fails and there's nothing going on with anyone...you know the time will be brief before a new wild one appears, but you still wonder who it will be and when. and then there they are. standing with their cell phone out, trynna get yo numba. another stupid one. i like those.

pecan pie

i have made yet another pecan pie and my intention is to finally give this one to him. i've already made two. before i had the chance to give him those, i ate them cause i lack self control and pecan pie is really delicious. what really sucks is that i made them for his birthday, which has come and gone. i'm so selfish. but i will not touch this pie because last night he told me that he liked me.

the little boys that try to play

i've had three guys rapid fire immediately decide to quit trying to pursue me and act like little titty babies because 1) they became aware that i liked someone that wasn't them and/or 2) i just flat out told them "no" when they tried to get into my pants.

ok, so about the first reason. as of today, 7/28/11, i like one dude. a month ago, i liked a different dude. months before that, i liked someone else. multiple someone elses. unfortunately (or fortunately), nothing worked out with any of the guys that i liked. they were all d bags :) what i'm trying to say is...time changes shit. what is meant to be will be. if you think that i'm not worth the effort and you wanna quit when i'm not interested in you at the moment, then...i really never will be interested in you! and you wonder why girls look past you?

and about the second reason. just NO, i don't want you like that. and one guy says to me, "you know, there are still some genuine guys like me left." before i can finish laughing my balls off (trust me, he was only about getting with me), i've already been unfriended. AW, MY SOUL!! looks like you're farther away from my pants than you were before, if that's possible. maybe try talking to the next girl like she's more than just a sex object and things might go more smoothly for you.

i'm a bee hotch and i'm full of myself. just waiting for someone, anyone to give me a heart boner.

i was just a conquest, and you're a dick

and it sucks that i have to keep what you did to myself and i can't fight it. in everyone else's eyes, and your own, you did no wrong. but you're a bitch. i didn't deserve to be treated like some ho. you'll get your comeuppance eventually. at least i hope so. unfair.

why i can't stop

i'm addicted.

frenemies

ever done this? on the surface, you smile. you talk, just to keep things friendly. but in reality, everything about them pisses you off. it's the same for them too. you know it, but they smile back. :) fuckin bitch.

i don't like you! i hate pretending!! so i won't anymore! get away from me! i could punch you!! i'm a bitch!! i always knew i would be. SO JUDGE ALL YOU WANT, KIDS, CAUSE YOU NEVER DID BECOME AN ASTRONAUT.

dear beautiful mixed man with the dreads

those long, beautiful dreads, UGH. what a gorgeous, gorgeous man. and when you told me that you're mixed black, puerto rican, and french, i just about died. that's my thing, man. mixed guys with long hair.

just wanna say that it sucks that you're back in new york. i don't know why you even decided to visit fredericksburg. i'm pretty certain that i'll never see you again.

but if in a few years, you find yourself without a life partner but desiring kids, you need to HIT ME UP. MM. our kids would be, i mean, Jesus. so willing to bear your children.

love,

ash